gazing into the abyss, listening to kids.

...Dear Mr. and Mrs. Everyone,
I am and have been scatterbrained as of recent. My mind does not flow as well as it might flow alone in my room, surrounded by music. I wait for you tube videos to load so i might listen to their music, but the wait and the anticipation aren't to be counted among my top ten activities of the day. Anticipation for love is a drain some might say.

and Mr. Everyone, I speak of my love for music,
but Mrs. Everyone, I speak of my love for you.

Music is playing. "kids" by MGMT.

Today journal pages are nearly blank. Words are just lines and dots put randomly in pretty areas. Mrs. Everyone, you shouldn't worry it wont be this way forever, it'll change for you.

"If I could take spirals, if i could hold them as drill bits,
If i could slow these down.
Sure, I'd love to slow you down, sure, let's slow together,
But sure, I have much greater needs then you.
Would i grab my mind, and hold it very tight,
It would be stilled and would not fight
Anymore. "

Drugs aren't so much as regular a companion as they might have been some years ago, but truth is a drug with no carnal joys. Should i feast upon it my flesh will die, should I starve myself of it, my mind shall turn upon its own flesh.

dangle, dangle, dangle, or drop, drop, drop?

"I want peace, and i want sleep, and i need calm.
If I could slow these down.
I want God, I need Sabbath, and I want lakes.
All these things are honey hives we cant taste.
Everyone beg the everything to act mercifully,
My eyes would flutter should we beg the Holy.
So lets. "

I pray for peace, not for you, just me. I am selfish.

"Language is just a means to conform others to yourself. It flows from the inside, it pushes to the outside, it is selfish unless it is true."

truth is -
"CHURCH = PRISONERS
CHURCH = ALCOHOLICS
CHURCH = HOMOSEXUALS
CHURCH = DRUG ADDICTS
CHURCH = SEXUAL OFFENDERS
CHURCH = CHRISTIANS
CHURCH = POT LUCKS
CHURCH = TEEN MOTHERS

I am a math genius, and you can be one too.
Associate church with these, not choirs and programs."

I listen to music until i wish I had my first love once more. Kids, MGMT.
Mr. Everyone, it's just music,
Mrs. Everyone, it's just you.